one interesting life and adventure with my hubby

so much going on

on October 16, 2014

since my last post, so many things have happened, and i just feel so miserable and overwhelmed. my grandmother, who was doing badly, had passed on that morning, and what i had hoped to be a happy day, (my little man was now 6 months old), was now no longer a happy event or day. my father, already upset and miserable, was even less inclined to worry about work, and i had to push him hard to get his paperwork to where i could print it out for him.

between that and the arrangements for what we would do for my grandmother’s passing, i had appointments to take little man to, and my growing lack of faith in his pediatrician is becoming more and more founded. i had some problems with nipping, and when i talked to the lactation consultant, she told me i may be feeding him too often, and not worry. his pediatrician told me that i need to give up and feed him formula from a bottle and most mothers give up breastfeeding by now. he also told me, that little man’s foreskin had fused to part of his equipment, and i should have been on top of that. knowing i was a first time mother, and do not have a penis, how was i supposed to know this? no one told me this, no one talks about this. the pediatrician also told me he had not seen a 6 month old crawling or sitting up on his own like my son was.. i feel like this guy got his license from a cereal box.

my mom and i spent the next few days preparing to go see the family, and handle all the stuff that would come up, and i crunched to finish my schoolwork while getting ready. my husband stayed behind while my son and i went, and handled everything. We left on a Friday morning, and made it to my sister’s house for the night, and left again in the morning to complete our journey to new jersey. we made it safely, without a hitch, and spent the first few hours of daylight not in a vehicle relaxing and enjoying being free. little man was good the while trip, and he and i slept in the back as my mother drove. i got to see cousins i had not seen in a long time, and see how much our families had grown.

Sunday we went to handle some of the affairs of my late grandmother, and it was mayhem. everyone was distressed and freaking out, making this occasion even less fun. we had to clean some of the items out of her apartment, no small task mind you. little man did his best to be good, and we were able to sort through some things and load them into the truck before my cousin’s birthday party that afternoon. the party was fun, and little man played hard and slept hard. i got to spend time with my cousins, aunts and uncles, and my remaining grandmother. i felt so complete and happy.

Monday we attended a mass for my grandmother that passed, and then hit the road back towards home. we made good time, making it back to my sister’s in the late evening, in time for dinner. we sorted through possessions we thought my sister would have liked, and passed them along to her before repacking the truck and heading home Tuesday morning. other than the stupid gps taking us all the way around her city on the way out, we made it back home safely that night.

a week and a half ago, i had started feeling pains in my abdomen, and was unable to carry my son or do much at all. fearing an ectopic pregnancy or worse, i ran to the doctors, who put me on pain meds that made me unsafe to drive. i did not take them because of this. my husband was grumbling because he had taken the car to work when my son had physical therapy, and did not want me to take our son, nor return the car or take us. it was a hard trip, with him saying that theses trips were a waste, that our son was getting better on his own, etc etc. our son has come so far, and made so much progress, and it hurt.

this past Thursday, my cousin collapsed at work, from cardiac arrest. he is in a coma right now, now longer medically induced into it, and we are really hoping he wakes up soon. his sister passed two weeks ago this past Monday, and we hope he can pull through this. my son just turned 7 months old the day after his collapse, but i felt no joy in the occasion. i had just seen my cousin, and he was doing so well. to hear him in this condition is distressing. we keep hoping he will pull through, and i really hope he does. we all want to know what the affects of his collapse have done to him, but until he wakes we wont know.



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